The waitening, and "why overhaul"

I'm currently hanging out at a 24/7 internet café in Berlin. And I realize it will cost me a bit. I don't want to get thrown out, and I need somewhere to be for the next 7 hours. So whenever someone looks a bit annoyed or ask me if I want something with a look in their face as if "or get the heck out" I order something. Thus far I have gotten one coffee, one beer and now one pepper mint tea. Really nice tea though. It is a cup of hot water filled with fresh pepper mint leafs. And having spent 3 hours here already, the people here doesn't seem to mind all too much that I'm loitering about.

So now I'm mostly just being bored, counting down the hours to when my taxi comes at 3:30 am. Hoping that my 15-something euro I got left won't run out.

Bored, bored, bored. I did get a call from my family though, which highlighted my evening quite well.

As I got nothing better to do, I might just as well write the story about why I choose the name "overhaul".

The Overhaul
My overhaul was a 3 step plan to get back on track in life. I was in a really bad place a few months ago. Hated my life, hated myself, hated my job. So, I had a choice. Either I continue this spiral of hate, and that would lead to bad things in the long run. Heck, even in the short run I was starting to alienate friends.

So, to battle this step one would be "quit my job". Step two "get into shape" and step three "see the world". I decided I would do this at the last year's Norberg Festival.

I started with quitting, feeling a lot like you do when you really need to go to the bathroom, that you need to go "now now now". However I couldn't just leave. Would both look bad and feel worse. So I filed for my resignation, hoping that the two months of notice would go by fast. They did, they only took a month! Thanks though magic applied by my team leader together with a stroke of luck there was a change of schedule period at work, so I got to leave early.

Step two, get into shape, was a really awesome plan. I would work out 3 times a week, and walk for 1-2 hours a day. However first thing that happened when I quit my job was that I deflated completely. Even getting out of bed felt horrible. It was as if the structure holding me up went out of my body. As if stress had been the only thing I was. Shortly after I got a long, slow cold. Then my back broke. With so many things stacking up and without any energy left in me I gave step two up and just took walks whenever I could.

Step thee is the current step. See the world and get over my shyness as much as possible. To the surprise of many of the people I've been visiting I am actually very, very shy. Almost to the point of social anxiety (probably past it too). Asking for things in shops feels awkward. Trying to upkeep conversation is awful and hard. And so on and so forth. If I meet a new person, it takes me a long time to warm up to them and be open and honest. This whole travelling is really just a smoke screen to force myself to "get out there". It is not easy, let me tell you. I still have a hard time approaching people for buying random stuff in christmas markets and the like here abroad. Sometimes I cut myself some slack. Sometimes I tell myself "You're not leaving until you spoke to that person".  It is slower than I hoped, but it is going quite well.

Last, forth, step is not really counted into this. But it is to get a job once I get back to Sweden. I've had a few job offers (some even abroad, but they pay bad, but if I somehow get stuck in San Francisco... ... for some reason *innocent hope*, who knows?). But if all else fails, I'll become a train driver and throw away all my aspirations of web design, design, and creative work.

So, there you have it.

Hustle the hustling hustler!

So, I was approached by a girl who pointed to a paper which in bad engish said something about being the official charity for deaf children. On the very same photocopied paper there were names already written, photocopied. Where it said city someone had written "Alice" where it said "zip code" someone wrote "Paris". About 3 names, the same errors for each name. An obvious scam. She refused to talk in either German or English with me, so she was not even from Germany. So, I scribble on her paper, and for the amount I write down €20. Here comes the hustle! I gave her €10!

Wait, wait, wait. Before you complain and go "Mattias, you stupid bastard, you still gave her money!", sit back and listen. I took a few steps, went out of view for a bit and then came back, all angry-looking and said "Wait a second! You scammed me! That wasn't right!" she looked a bit taken aback an shook her head. I said "I want my money back!" And she shook her head again. I looked around and loudly said "Where is the Police?" in both English and German. Loud enough for people around to hear, but not loud enough to actually call attention. She looked scared and pulled out the €10 I gave her. And I say "No! Look the paper. I gave 20!" She looks and then gives me a 20 instead. I nod and go away. Secretly trying not to cackle in insane glee and adrenaline.

Now I just need to hustle some other scammers out of another 15 euro and I've broken even from the previous one.

In  other news, I messed up a bit with the flight plan and thought the plane left at 3:30, when it actually leaves at 6:30, leaving me effectively stranded in Berlin with no place to stay or go. According to the homepage, the airport close between 00:00 and 04:00. I tried to call to confirm, but something was wrong with my phone. But I managed to get the help of my roomie to double check it (cudos man *fist-bump*). So I've been wandering from about 11 am to now (4:30 pm) before I managed to find a 24/7 café with free WiFi, huzzah! I just hope they won't throw me out, since I'll be staying here some 10 hours or so.

Observation: Christmas Markets

I think this is an entry my stepmother will be very interested in. Seeing how she is the Christmas General in the city I come from and decides with a claw of iron what the decorations should look like. Much like the dark knight Kato, but more christmas-y and without a doubt more friendly. And where Kato got a heart of stone, she got a heart of fudge. Okay, I'm getting side tracked here.

So! Christmas in Berlin. Queue your favourite Christmas song, I know I'll be listening to mine while writing this. The general decoration is quite normal, but with a big-city budget. You see trees which outlines have been lined with rows of light to make it look like they are cartoonish cutouts with glowing edges when night comes. Snow flakes hang in walkways and in the old-town parts more classic decorations can be seen. Those known from the late 80s and early 90s.

What sets Berlin apart from other places I've been during christmas is the markets. Each and every square got little houses with open sides where people sell their handmade goods, hats, food, candy, roasted chestnuts and glüwein. In one of the markets there were oak wood ovens where a lady stood behind the counter, kneeding a huge piece of dough which she cut up and then placed into the oven. Most of the food is equally roasted over open fire or on huge frying pans hanging over a fire pit. Spits of meat are being kept warm near a fire and large fire places stand amidst seats and couches which are under roofs and clad in deer skins were people sit under blankets and drink their glüwein.

In the middle of all this you see really nice looking old style merry go rounds, tiny ponies which children can ride. An ice skating area set up around an old statue and even a huge ferry's wheel.

Everywhere is the smell of firewood being burnt, warmth from the fires all around, the smell of fresh roasted nuts and candied apples. The sound of small choir groups and live musicians mingle beautifully into the chaos. And I just couldn't help but to think "This, just like THIS is how a Christmas market should be. No metal bars holding flimsy tarps in place. No poorly made goods which you can find anywhere. Just happy children and good Christmas cheer!"

It's been years since I felt as christmas-y as I did today when I drank glüwein, munched roasted chestnuts and nibbled upon a huge piece of meat inside bread.

Ich bin ein Berliner!

So, I left Amsterdam with mixed feelings about the place. Mostly I just felt isolated and depressed there. The city wasn't all too beautiful. The people greedy and often rude. Tourists everywhere, and most of them being obnoxious and loud. Giggling like teenage girls over a pop idol about that they can smoke weed. Oh whee, yeah, good going. Anyone anywhere can smoke weed if they want to. It's not like it actually is that hard to come by illegally.

Next time Mr. Mouse... next time...

One night, I was relaxing at the hotel, Discovery Channel on the small television, Nintendo 3DS in hand when suddenly I saw movement by the sink. It was a mouse! A honest to god tiny little mouse! I went "Eeeee!" and tried to find my camera, but it got away. The next morning I heard rusting in my plastic bag with food. I hurried to straighten it up and saw it in there. But as I went for my camera it jumped out and ran away.

For the evening, I set up a cunning trap. When I woke up the next morning, the trap was tripped! But the illusive Mr. Mouse was gone together with the crumbs of potato chips.

Yesterday night I arrived here in Berlin. A much friendlier city than Amsterdam. Sure, people are stressed here, but there aren't beggars here which when you accidentally look at them start following you around as there was in Amsterdam. Before you read on, make sure to put on this song:  Mr. Jones Machine - Vit Citroen. It will set the perfect mood. I went from my hostel this morning, singing along to this song which was set on repeat. After a while I came to The Fernsehturm, where there was a really cozy christmas market.For 3 euro I got a really large sandwich with vast amounts of feta cheese on. 

Then I strolled around a bit. I was here last summer, and I must say I like it better without all the tourists. Also, there are many small christmas markets all around. Very cozy wooden cabins with open sides where people sell hand made candy, jewellery, food, glühwein. Together with small ice skating places. Of all the christmas markets I've seen during my travels, the ones in Berlin are the best by far.

Also! Today I have been on the road for a full month! Huzzah! I wonder if my roomie miss me back home. Or if he is relishing in the fact that he got the apartment to himself. I hope for the first. Because I'm missing home myself.