Universal Studios! Ah, what a place! So
many people, so many things to do. So many attractions. So many
shows! You know what this calls for? Exactly! A review of every
single ride I was on. Only because I got nothing else to do on the
Greyhound and the Internet is out here in this area. The score is set
between 1 and 10 where 1 is equal to being rolled down a mud soaked
hill into a pond of leeches. 10 is equal to being brought to another
plane of existence though a roller-coaster made of unicorns riding on
rainbows while young maidens sing your praise.
Universal Studios Florida
This is the main park for Universal in
and of itself. There are not too many action-type attractions here.
This place is mostly about shows and sit-down things. Like short 3D
movies.
Shrek 4-D
Type: 3D cinema
Description: The ride in and of itself
is first an antechamber where you enter and get to see a live human
tell you about the torture chamber you just entered. You are to be
questioned for the whereabouts of Shrek and Fiona. Already the three
little pigs and Pinocchio have been captured. After this you are let
into a large movie theater where you get to see Shrek, Fiona and
Donkey doing a small adventure. The movie is in 3D with the added
dimension of wobbly seats which move to simulate what happens on
screen. Not really a simulator, but not far from it along with air
blowing at you and water being splattered on you when someone sneeze
towards the camera.
What I thought: This is a galore in
cheap and cheesy effects. I will confess that I'm not much of a fan
of Shrek, since I've always seen it as a bit childish where the “over
children's heads” jokes are so obvious you groan at points. A lot
of it is “see, look here. This is funny, now laugh”. The story in
and of itself where you are locked into a torture chamber in the
beginning get no real resolution, since you just follow the people on
screen and see everyone save Fiona from the ghost of the bad guy. The
3D effects are a bit cheesy and it is obvious that I'm not the right
age group for this ride. The machinery which makes the seats move is
so loud that you sometimes miss what is said. Despite its faults, it
is quite charming and very well produced. And that saves it from
being a total disaster.
Final Score: 4 of 10
Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit
Type: Roller coaster
Description: You are seated into a
chair which presses you down as a belt around your waist rather than
as a harness and then you get to select your soundtrack from 5
different genres, with 5 songs in each genre.
What I thought: My biggest worry was
that I was not going to find a song which fitted me for the coaster.
But I was surprised to find Intergalactic by Beastie Boys in the
electronica genre and was then all set to go. The ride in and of
itself was quite interesting and terribly fast. It wobbled and
trembled so bad it reminded me more of a wooden roller coaster than a
modern one made of metal. You experience harsh g-forces, and in my
opinion a bit too harsh ones. And the wobbling and trembling made my
skin swell up. In the last of the harsh curves I started blacking out
and saw stars. I remember thinking “what the hell? A roller coaster
that makes you black out? This is just silly!”. However, the
addition of letting you select your own music, and actually having
good music in the selection adds to the grade.
Final Score: 7 of 10
TWISTER: Ride it out
Type: Show
Description: You are brought into an
antechamber where the actors tell you about the good ol' movie
Twister. After this you are brought to another waiting line and then
into a large room into which the main attraction is. You stand on a
stage and look out over a small rural town landscape. The main thing
is that they make a twister on stage though the help of fans and
smoke.
What I thought: The buildup is quite
weak. The actors go on about how dangerous it was on the set.
Meanwhile we all know stunt men did the actual dangerous work. But,
Helen Hunt is cute. The actual effects are very well made and done in
a very impressive manner. The way things are torn apart makes you
wonder how on earth they manage to reset the stage between each show.
It was a bit hard to believe in what you saw, as in to see past the
wires of the cow passing by, etc. But over all it was very enjoyable.
Final Score: 6 of 10
Revenge of the Mummy
Type: Roller-coaster/Show-ride
Description: After massive amounts of
dwindling queue line passages where you see tv-screens with
interviews with the actors from The Mummy and learn about how the set
was cursed and the like, as a set up for the ride you enter a more
complex waiting area. This place is made to look like a tomb.
Everything is very detailed and very well made. Next you get to a
place looking like an excavation and you are brought upstairs to
where the ride begin. You enter a wide rollercoaster type thing and
get strapped in. In normal attractions all of the crew people gives
thumbs up to show everything is ready for launch. These guys all look
very solemn and gloomy and instead glares at one another and gives
thumbs down. You are sent into a roller coaster ride at first, which
stops and halts at different stations. And then you are set free.
What I thought: I loved the touch with
the thumbs down of the crew people. The ride in and of itself is fun.
But I've always liked total darkness roller coasters. The different
stations are exciting. Especially one where you are blasted with
really intense heat, to the point where it is almost uncomfortable.
In the ceiling you see intense fire, real fire, burning. Really nice
touch.
Final Score: 8 out of 10
Disaster!
Type: Show/Show-Ride
Description: You enter a studio and
people are drafted from the audience to be part of a show called
“Mutha Nature”. A human guide does all the talking and you are
moved over to a room where the director talks to you about his really
bad movie idea. You are moved over once more to a recording studio
where everything is recorded. Last but not least you get to go though
a classic “disaster ride”, where you live though an earth quake
inside a subway station. You've seen it in Hollywood Cop III for
instance. They had aliens, but it is the same deal. After all this
you get to see a trailer of the movie put together from what they
recorded earlier.
What I thought: It was great fun, all
in all. My hostesses tried to get me to be one of the actors, but I
dodged the bullet (thank god! No regrets, only a little). The ride in
and of itself wasn't all too fun, but the bad acting of common people
and the final trailer for the movie really was. All in all it
succeeded in amusing the Swede.
Final Score: 6 out of 10
Fear Factor Live
Type: Live Show
Description: This is a show which is
just like the Fear Factor show on television. The contestants get to
do different stunts and daring acts to see if they dare do them.
Between the stunts and the setting up of the next the people get to
mini-stuff, like eat disgusting stuff or get bugs put on them.
What I thought: The catch phrase “By
the way... there is one more thing” made me roll my eyes towards
the end when every person in the audience shouted it. The mini-show
where people eat disgusting stuff was just appalling to me. The main
show was interesting, and I was just sad the person from Nepal didn't
win. He lost due to a miss in the beginning though which he had to go
back and re-do it. And still he almost won.
Final Score: 5 out of 10
The Simpsons Ride
Type: Simulator
Description: While waiting in line, you
are set up to see how Sideshow Bob gets an itchy and scratchy costume
and follows the Simpsons family into Krusty Land, and the actual ride
you are going to. You are shown into a small room where you got a
classic simulator car thing. In front of it is a small-ish screen. As
the ride starts, the roof opens and you find yourself surrounded by a
dome shaped video screen with a complete 360 view. So all you see is
the screen. You are thrown right into the action.
What I thought: This was an amazing
ride in the terms of the technology involved and the different twists
which were added to ensure you were always on your toes. The screen
though was a bit blurry, so it was hard to look at and added to
dizziness you got from being without a reference point of reality.
Final Score: 7 out of 10
Animal Actors on Location!
Type: Live Show
Description: Different trained animals
from famous movies show what they can do. Opens with a small number
where animals run around in a funny and cute order. Pigs, Cats,
Ducks, Doves, Dogs, Pigeons, etc. Then a woman comes in and
demonstrates what some of the animals can do.
What I thought: This is pretty straight
forward. Sweet and cute and is just what it seems like. The show was
very impressive, and it is clear a lot of training went into this.
Final Score: 7 out of 10
Universal's Islands of Adventures
This is the part to go to if you want
to experience amazing rides and a lot of action-type attractions. And
also vast numbers of people.
The Incredible Hulk Coaster
Type: Roller coaster
Description: The setup for the ride is
that mr. Banner tries to destroy the Hulk and you are used as a test
subject. As the ride start you are slowly brought up a long slope
while hearing how the experiment fails and halfway though you are
shot out into loops and twirls.
What I thought: The setup is a bit
silly and have been done so often it is almost a bit towards nagging.
Yes, we know Bruce is a big emo. Yes, we know he hates the Hulk. Quit
naggin'! The ride in and of itself however is wonderful. The first
time you are shot out after you think it is going to be a slow uphill
slope you are taken by surprise and the ride is very smooth without
the annoying wobbling one felt in the rockit coaster. The ride is a
bit predicable, which can be seen as either a good or a bad thing
depending on mood.
Final Score: 9 of 10
Dr. Doom's Fearfall
Type: Free fall
Description: You are lead into a device
which shoots you 150 feet up into the air, and then you fall down
towards the ground. Bouncing up and down a few times before it is
over.
What I thought: As far as free fall
attractions go, this one is good, but far from the best I've ridden.
My favourite one is in Liseberg in Gothenburg. There you are slowly
hoisted up, then the seats tilts forward, suspense build and you fall
down. Here you are shot straight up and then fall down in a very
simple manner, and without any real setup or backstory other than
that Dr. Doom is odd.
Final Score: 7 of 10
The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman
Type: Simulator/Show ride
Description: You set out in a car just
as a bunch of spiderman's worst foes try to take over the city. You
sit in a moving tram like thing which moves on a rail and pauses at
times to become a simulator ride with 3D glasses. All moving so
smoothly it is hard to tell what is simulator and what is real from
time to time, since the tram in and of itself moves a whole lot.
What I thought: Having last been in a
simulator which was 10-15 years behind in technology, this was a
Marvel for me (get it, marvel, eh? Eh? Ah shaddup). Even if I got a
bit disturbed by the “spider signal” on the wall with a spiderman
head being projected by the light, and the fact that the ride was
aimed at teens rather than people in their 30s, I enjoyed it greatly.
The fact that you did not quite know what was real and what was
simulator made you a bit dizzy at points though.
Final Score: 8 of 10
Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey
Type: Simulator/Show ride
Description: You sit down in an
enchanted chair and are then sent off into a mixture of a rail ride
and simulator just like the Spiderman one. You get to fly with Harry,
be chased by a dragon and lots of exciting things.
What I thought: This ride was better
set up than the Spiderman one with a much better looking pre-ride
queue. An animatronic Sorting Hat its on a wall, telling a poem of
safety regulations. Everything is made with the real voice actors and
body actors. At one point in the ride you encounter spiders, another
you encounter dementors. Neither look any realistic, and the
dementors look like something a grade schooler would make in arts and
craft. I guess it is because you would otherwise traumatize children
for life. But it stops the ride from getting a really good score. I
would give it 8.5, since it is better than the spiderman one, but...
it doesn't quite make it.
Final Score: 8 of 10
Dragon Challenge
Type: Roller coasters
Description: This is a hang-over type
roller coaster where you sit in a chair and your legs dangle freely.
You are brought up a slope and then quickly gather speed as you
descent into a chaos of loops, twists and turns. This ride comes in
two variation, either as a blue dragon or a red dragon. Each of the
dragons is unique and different.
What I thought: This ride is utterly
unpredictable and gives you a very, very smooth and gentle ride. Even
though the smoothness you are constantly battling the g-forces and
with every new unpredictable turn a laugh is startled out of you. The
same goes for both coasters. There really isn't much difference
between them, but they're both worth doing. Would this ride have had
the music option from the Rockit coaster, it would have been a 10
pointer.
Final Score: 9 of 10
The Eight Voyage of Sinbad
Type: Live Show/Stunt Show
Description: A stunt show where we see
Sinbad and his sidekick explore a shipwreck and encounter a beautiful
princess and a scary witch. Lots of pyrotechnics and well
choreographed fights.
What I thought: I think my roomie would
have liked this one better than me. It was a bit like watching a live
show of Power Rangers. And I think he knows what I think about Power
Rangers. However, when all is said and done, it was quite... cute as
one of my hostesses put it.
Final Score: 7 of 10
The Mystic Fountain
Description: In the middle of a plaza
you find a speaking fountain which lures children to come close only
to “spit” water on them.
What I thought: The idea is quite fun.
Sadly it was getting dark and it was quite cold out, otherwise I
think the person controlling the fountain would have made people more
wet and moist. Since the voice of the fountain is controlled by a
person it is fun to see how the fountain can interact with people.
Final Score: 6 of 10 (sunny weather
would probably increase it to 7 or 8)
 | ||||
| Poseidon's Fury |
Poseidon's Fury
Type: Show/Tour
Description: In a massive temple ruin
you are invited to join an expidition. There you are lead though 3
different rooms by a guide to see how Poseidon fights the
evil...whatshisname.
What I thought: The actual temple was
awesome. Very well made and with lots of thought behind it. The
interior in the three rooms you are guided though is quite good.
Between the second and third room you encounter a horizontal water
vortex which I found really impressive since you walk though it with
water spinning clockwise above and under you without any glass or the
like between. You can actually reach out and touch it. And still it
isn't drippling from above. The last room is impressive, but the
pre-recorded and projected-against-water fight between Poseidon and
whatshisname is worse than something from Power Rangers. One would
think that if you spent all those millions of dollars on this set,
you would go the final mile to get good actors.
The Cat in the Hat
Type: Show ride
Description: You sit down in a ride and
get the whole “The Cat in the Hat” read to you, while seeing the
scenes at the same time with animatronics and the like.
What I thought: How can I possibly do
this one just? I never read any Dr. Seuss, I got no connection with
him as a child. The ride is aimed towards a very young audience so
I'm the wrong age category to begin with. It was very well made, even
though when the cat sits down in his many-armed car, I felt a bit
like going though a Silent Hill themed ride.
Final Score: 6 of 10
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